Thank you to everyone who have left kind messages, it truly makes my heart sing.
This last week has passed by in a blur of hospital visits, seeing faces of family, driving in silence, feeling numb, quiet tears, flowers arriving, long and short phone calls, compassionate, soothing voices and being at home keeping my self occupied with the humdrum of housework.
We were running late that day, the day of her passing, a hundred tiny things made us later than usual, I keep thinking if only we didn't do this or do that, we would have been there. She couldn't wait any longer and went peacefully without us. Although, she was not alone, I feel like we let her down. She had been surrounded by loving family all week and was awake until Sunday, really quite at ease and happy to see her family, joining in on conversations along the way. She wanted to go and we all understood why.
In retrospect we were lucky to have had that time with her, there were lots of tears, of course, but there were many memories, relived, that bought us joy and some solace.
We are in the midst of preparing for her funeral and I hope it is the last one I have to be part of for a long time. Thank heavens for our little family, Lovely hubby is stoic but soft and kind, our adult children seem to be coping and have been amazing help at the same time. Our daughter instinctively knows what to do and just jumps in and does it and our son cooked dinner for us last night, easing our burden of the everyday. We will be okay, together, we will be okay.